Weddings and going the wrong way..

Saturday morning saw Holly n Me  getting up before 7..ouch! and driving down to my sisters in Urchfont, its slightly of the beaten track but beautiful country, lots of country roads and windy lanes, now I don't mind driving or weddings but for some reason I just did not want to go to my Nephew Adams big day,  I procrastinated and put things off so much so that  at the beginning of last week I didn't even have an outfit sorted, I hate shopping for clothes as somewhere in my tiny mind I'm still a size 12  with my slim long legs and curves where they should be,  sadly that is no longer the fact, 30 years 3 children and lipodema  in my legs has put paid to that illusion so everything I try on is just wrong... the current fashion for maxi dresses  gave me a little hope I thought yes I can get a lovely long flowy dress hide my ankles be "on Trend" I duly trawled the net, scanned all the online stores and found what I thought would be a practical, usable dress from JD Williams, it stated it was a maxi dress with a flowing skirt... not too frou frou, billowy or sack like. modesty panel to the bust line nipped in waist but not too tight a stretchy giving fabric so it should be perfect..... I was cutting it fine with a 3-5 day delivery time but I held out hope and paid my cash, Now Thursday morning came around and no dress so a trip to the charity shop found another dress in greys and black, a thread of gold, a swirl to the hem, yep I thought this will do at a pinch.. well on getting back from my shopping trip the postie had been with my ordered dress I heaved a sigh of relief and whipped it out the bag.... maxi dress my arse.. probably if you are 5 ft but I'm 5.7, with fat but long legs, and to be honest if I had put that dress on I would be showing my arse or at least feel like it... it barely covered my knees so thats back in the bag ready to be sent off... by this time I really did not want to go all that way to stand around like a sore finger in a sack  while everyone else looked great....and my  fail safe comfy  I'm wearing trousers kicked in...but you can't exactly wear jeans to a wedding and I know the trousers in my wardrobe have all seen better days so back on line I went, I'd seen some wide legged linen trousers with a draw string waist a few weeks ago when I was in the planning what to wear phase and headed there again now 3-4 weeks ago I stuck some navy ones in my shopping basket and just left em there... this time I thought black would be more practical, I have a black and white checked chiffon duster type jacket.. yep that would look good with a white vest type tee or theres a black jacket again with a shirt or coloured tee so I thought I'd added in black ones this time... nope after paying for express delivery I realised I'd paid for Navy.. OK so no biggie, I dug out the navy shoes, the white flip flops for later, and 2 choices of cream jacket.... OK so me being me and unsure of sizes goes and orders the trousers 1 size if not 2 sizes bigger than I would  when buying jeans... Tesco jeans fit well, Tu jeans fit well,even asda jeans if I get the longer legs are a good fit at size 18.. Friday morning arrives and so do the trousers and boy are they big.. but hey they have a draw string waist and I do still have the grey dress so Friday night  we have a fashion show...  needless to say I looked a cow in the grey dress its going to come in useful on holidays for mooching to the bar after the beach..pretty shapeless and sack like lol... Any hoo the navy pants looked fine . a bit big n loose but nice and comfortable, the  2 cream jackets both looked ok so I didn't bother to choose just packed them both... Ok so the journey was un eventful nice and steady no traffic jams or slow bits and we landed at our kids for just after 10.30. we had a spot of lunch got dressed and headed off to the church. 

Helen roughly knew where we needed to be so directed us in the general way of Andover, and then we stuck her phone on to maps and the sat nav to guide us  the last few miles... somehow it wanted us to go to some random school in a village on the way.. so we then resorted to my daughters phone. 2 sat navs arguing was just like being in the car with the grandparents both telling us different ways to go ..so eventually we picked one listened to it and finally got there with just enough time to grab a drink in the pub next door... and of course me being me dripped coke down my boob. fortunately it wasn't a huge sploosh just a tiny drip and my jacket covered it..

The service was lovely, not drawn out, 2 hymns 2 readings the lords prayer and done... there was an instance when our Adam made a bolt for the door... but it was while they were signing the register  and he did explain he was dying for the loo.. now I don't know whether a bush or a gravestone copped the fall out or if churches do have toilets for general public use but... lets say hes known as Adam "Backlash" *****son on face book..

On to the reception and more argumentative sat navs... but we got there ok..

 We were met with champers, and canapes all very civilised... photos on the lawn  more canapes more champers and the rain held off.. the food was lovely  and plentiful I didn't manage to get to the cheese board... bummer... the wine flowed the champers flowed somemore for toasts and then the disco happened and yet more food...

  And I did not get to that as well, I was still uber stuffed and concentrating on sobering up from the  wine with dinner... which I thought I had done successfully after 4 hours of water and coffee

 

( I wasn't squiffy to begin with) but whether it was the argumentative sat nav, night blindness, extreme fatigue or still under the effects of the wine.. I did end up  missing the exit on the round about then if that wasn't enough I ended up going the wrong way down a dual carriage way .. cripes... quick U turn back to the junction no one around and back on the right side of the road.. Phew.... all OK and back on track..... the sat nav behaved, my sister didn't argue with it and my daughter who had been chatting up the waiters all night did not throw up.. still it was after 1.30 before we got to bed.. very tired  but my wayward legs would not let me sleep.. cramp after cramp after cramp.. hopping around the bedroom till 4 am before I got properly to sleep 

So all weddinged out we set of back home by 11.30 Sunday morning arrived home by 4 I had a  2 hour nana nap and  then hit the wine... wow, wrong ways, weddings and weekends....I think I've had my fair share of excitement for a while but I did have a pretty good time and next time I don't want to go somewhere I shall ignore myself again. cos what do I know..


Leave a comment